Attachment TheoryA Secure attachment will result in a well balanced person who is able to feel their emotions and know that they are not their emotions. They will have developed a core set of beliefs about themselves that lets them know that they are OK. While they won't be perfect in any sense, they will be able to handle their life and live it to the fullest. Their actions reflect this inner sense of self which creates integrity. Securely attached children see themselves as being worthy of all life has to offer. They understand they are worthy of being loved and that they are capable of getting the love that they need. They believe in their core that others are willing and able to love them. There are many degrees and variations of insecure attachments. Infants who do not get their needs met or who are judged and criticized often grow up to insecure and don't believe they are worthy of being loved or having anyone love them. They continually find people and create the drama that keeps them separate and continually proves that they are right - they are unlovable. Defensiveness and Drama are the basis for their relationships. Fear of abandonment and fear of not being good enough are a few of the basic beliefs that are created from insecure attachments. As infants and kids growing up, they adapt various defense mechanisms (ego) to protect themselves from feeling the pain of attachment and separation. Attachment styles are what creates the core beliefs.
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